Bat-lash (SPOILER WARNING!)

A lot of people have been asking me my opinions on the Bat-picture that debuted last night, and I couldn't be more pleased. I've been a fan of the Caped Crusader since the old Animated Series (I still have all the episodes on DVD) and suffice it to say, this is the best Batman movie since Mask of the Phantasm. Hell, it's probably the best picture I've seen all year (and yes, that does include Kung Fu Panda). Anyone else who caught a midnight screening last night can probably tell you that the flick is an emotionally exhausting experience. It's barely a comic-book movie, to the point where even the typical Batman villains are frighteningly realistic. Heath Ledger proves resolutely that he is an American acting legend, and whether it's the content of the movie or his tragic fate that affects you most, the blend between the two makes for some grueling entertainment. Don't let those shitty Domino's ads fool you-- this is not a typical summer movie. It pushes you to horrific extremes and successfully evokes jaw-dropping reactions that were previously unthinkable in superhero cinema. Namely, you won't see Bruce Wayne going emo and dancing around a barroom. I was going to write something up about Hellboy II: The Golden Army yesterday afternoon, as a way of suppressing my excitement for The Dark Knight, but to be honest I couldn't focus. After seeing the movie, I can tell you that Hellboy takes the cake for cool CGI-effects, but the Dark Knight pointedly refuses to rely on them, sculpting the hideous reality of a decrepit Gotham city from practical effects and the Chicago skyline. It's even hard to compare the two movies; Hellboy II's jokeyness puts it in another category entirely, making it more akin to superhero parodies like Mystery Men than The Dark Knight. That's not to say that Hellboy II doesn't have its moments of shining brilliance. Somewhere around the middle, the movie hits a really wonderful stride, nailing down the blend of character and spectacle that made big-budget successes like Ghostbusters and Men in Black really work. But when it comes to entertainment that transcends popcorn-munching fluff, look no further than the Dark Knight. I'm not saying don't see Hellboy. But if you're going to see two movies sometime soon, I'd say you might as well just see The Dark Knight twice. Hell, I'll be going for round two sometime this weekend (even if it means I have to sit through that Mummy preview for the fiftieth time.)
I'd like to share with you a conversation about The Dark Knight that my friend Steve and I had last night, immediately following the midnight screening. Two warnings: Steve and I are both hardcore Batman fans, so the discussion will be decidedly nitpicky. Also, I recommend you see the movie before you read the following transcript, because we do reveal a lot of SPOILERS, and you'll just enjoy the movie more if you go in not knowing what to really expect.
For everybody else, here's some geeky discussion at its finest:

M: good deal
S: It's better than BEGINS.
S: But it still has a few stupid problems.
S: The only time Nolan seems to care he's making a comic book movie is when he needs a quick plot device.
S: Other than that, he's all "I'm making a MOVIE!"
M: yeah, there was nothing comic booky about it
S: Which I like.
M: in terms of two-face / joker, it works
S: With the exception of the weird sonar thing.
M: but whenever batman's on screen, it's less sensical
M: right
M: batman is the most ridiculous part of his own movie
S: Completely
M: even bruce wayne playing bruce wayne as a cartoon is more realistic
M: but I can't fault that
M: it's just sad that Batman doesn't get to have a character plot in a movie mostly about Harvey and the Joker
M: but what a movie about Harvey and the Joker
S: Oh, seriously.
S: It was a bummer they killed Harvey.
S: Because like... he had a point.
S: He wasn't a SPIDER-MAN 3/Venom kind of deal.
S: It was, for all intents and purposes, his movie.
M: I don't know if he's really dead
S: I really wish that awesome shot of the Joker walking out of the hospital had been one long shot.
M: it was implied
S: It's split up with a cut.
M: but it's also implied that the Joker lived
M: and we all know that ain't happenin'
S: Oldman thinks they'll recast.
S: The Gordon fake out was weird and sort of pointless.
M: I liked it, only because it paved the way for the Rachel death to have real impact
M: I was actually most shocked that neither boat exploded
S: Yeah, I think so, too.
M: and any more time spent with Oldman is good
S: I understand that for the thesis of the movie to work neither boat could explode.
M: I don't know
S: But in real life it would have been about ten seconds before each boat killed each other.
M: if they wanted to make it real dark
M: they could have made the civilian boat kill the crooks
M: that would have ruled
S: Deebo from FRIDAY saves the day!
M: because then the Joker is even more a madman
M: like, I was shocked that the Joker turned out to be so impotent so quickly
M: because if he really is a force of chaos, which they establish very well, then he needs even more
S: Yeah, it really seemed like a product of "Well, the movie is almost over, so... it's over!"
M: but then I guess the ending wouldn't work
M: I like the set-up
S: Yeah, totally.
M: Batman is back to fugitive
S: My second favorite bit in MASK OF THE PHANTASM is all the "the police against Batman" stuff.
S: I've always liked when that happens.
S: Not just like "We think you blow!"
M: right, exactly
S: But hardcore, him vs. them
M: I think Nolan writes Batman himself into something of a corner
M: because we're taught to think Bruce Wayne is not Batman
M: and we spend so little time with Batman himself that it's hard to discern what his actual ethos is
M: Batman never has to deal with the emotional repercussions of letting those people die
M: and he does seem kind of pleased that Harvey takes the fall in the middle
S: Yeah, totally.
M: he's a detective, but we have no insight into his deductive abilities
S: Well, we kinda do.
M: it seems like everybody in the city is as great at deducing as he is
S: Well, we have insight into how much money he has.
S: Which is getting there, I suppose.
S: With his "Fire a bunch of bullets, figure out how to put the shells back together to get the fingerprint" thing.
S: But it seems like it was pretty straightforward.
M: that's true, it's cool
S: He just needed the cash to be able to buy that stuff, which he had.
M: I fucking loved Heath
M: god damn
M: he was so funny
M: the pencil thing was hysterical
S: Oh God yes
S: The movie is *insanely* not kid friendly.
S: When it's a movie movie, it'll bore them.
M: I mean, he did a Joker as great and memorable as Nicholson's with the depth of the comics and cartoons
S: And when the comic book stuff shows up, it'll scar them emotionally
M: oh my fucking god
M: they teach you to fear violence in this movie, alright
M: you get so squeamish that when you finally see Bad Harv's face...it hurts
S: Seriously.
S: I haven't been this pensive during a movie in awhile.
S: Whenever Joker was on screen, it was like "someone is getting hurt, and I'm afraid."
S: I liked his "theme"
S: Even if it was very, very Johnny Greenwood/THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
S: But from what I understand, they had that written way before they ever could have saw that movie.
S: So I guess it's just great minds think alike.
M: the scoring was occasionally interesting, mostly non-existant
S: Yeah, overall, I was underwhelmed.
S: During the time of BEGINS, they said they had written a theme for Batman that they didn't use because he hadn't "earned it" yet.
M: there was nothing as delightful as the Joker cartoon theme from B:TAS
S: And it still didn't make an appearance in this one.
M: hahahaha
M: yeah, I mean he kind of earns it with that China drop
M: but like, all we need him to do is leap and swoop
not punch fuckers
M: I don't need to see that
M: I want him to be chaos too
S: There is one Joker moment I *loved*
S: When he's talking to that Batman impersonator, and he's all Jokery and he's like "Look at me! Look at me!"
S: And then he let's LOOSE
S: And roars "LOOK AT ME."
M: I know, it was great to see him have fun
M: and when he talks to Batman like they're friends
M: that's when I love it
M: and the whole Joker loves Batman
M: "I'm just a dog chasing after cars"
S: Yeah, it really truly is affectionate.
M: classic
M: perfect
S: I was a little bummed the Scarecrow was underused.
M: but on a similar note, nix the whole "HARV IS THE HERO, THE FACE OF GOTHAM"
S: I mean, I understand the movie has a lot to do and that's right at the beginning.
M: yeah, in the long run, give him one fun thing to do
M: show us one more clip of scarecrow vision at least
S: But Cillian Murphy has one line onscreen
S: And it's a doctor pun.
M: hahaha, I know, what a jip
S: Or show us Joker in Scarecrow vision.
M: ohhhh shit
M: yeah
M: no, PENGUIN
M: no, wait
M: Joker
S: Haha
S: I didn't mind the whole "Harvey is the HERO" bit.
M: I liked it
M: until the end
M: when I couldn't even understand the fuck what Gordon was saying
S: Oh, gotcha
M: "Batman is the hero
M: I mean, he's not.
M: Look, kid, it doesn't matter."
S: It really is a lot to process, and he really talks in circles.
M: right, but ultimately, who the fuck cares
M: we know he's doing the right thing, regardless of how Gordon justifies it
M: he's fucking Batman
M: and since he has no emotional agency in the movie, it's apparent that his choices are always "correct"
S: Yeah
M: the only ones with criticism are his buddies
S: It is weird, now that I think about it, how little he has to "do"
M: your only insight into his character at all is really Alfred
S: Yeah
S: But even that doesn't hold true anymore.
M: and that's contrary too, because Alfred always chides him, but it never amounts to anything
S: In the first they set up that Alfred is like his ethical compass at times, when Alfred gives him shit
S: Yeah, absolutely
S: I was just going to say that
S: Alfred gives him shit about blowing so much up trying to save Rachel
S: And in this one, for even less of a reason, he blows up a ton of stuff and endangers a ton of people.
M: they even have that little moment that's a total microcosm of the relationship
M: where alfred's like
M: I won't say I told you so this time
M: but I told you so
M: well, fuck you alfred, I'm blaming the batman thing on you! tee hee!
M: so we're both impotent man children until one of us puts on a mask
S: I don't think Gordon, under any circumstances, would let his wife and kid think he was dead.
S: It'd be everyone but them.
S: And I was hoping that when he showed back up, it would lead to their divorce.
M: hahaha
M: he deserved the slap
M: but I think he was really pushed to the brink in this one
S: Yeah, totally.
M: it seemed very unfair to put them through that though
M: especially because they didn't apparently tell the girl she was even in the movie until the second to last scene
S: Yeah, totally.
S: It is weird though that everyone thought Gordon was dead, including the mayor, and he's been "alive" for like a half hour, tops, and the mayor is all "You're commissioner now! Huzzah!"
S: But overall, I like Gordon in this a ton.
S: He isn't reduced to comic relief like in BEGINS, which is always fun.
M: I liked that the mayor was the guy from Lost
M: yeah, but he was so good at that I didn't mind it then
S: Or, even better, Diefladermaus from THE TICK live action show
M: he's still my fave part of Begins
M: hahahah
S: Mine too
M: I liked Maggie Gyllenhall so much
S: Did it seem like he made little effort to hide his accent at times?
S: hahahahah YES
M: especially when yelling at Dent
S: In the first he gave Gordon a weird overly American accent at times.
S: And in this he was like "Ah, fuck it"
M: on that really awkward rooftop scene
S: Which again, I don't care, because he's so good.
M: where Bats is just like
M: HEY
M: GUYS
S: Yeah, totally
S: *gone*
M: GUY IN A GAY COSTUME HERE
M: LITTLE ATTENTION? AHEM
S: They cheat with "Batman being able to move anywhere silently" once in a way that bugs me
S: In the bank vault, it's fine.
S: In the interrogation room, it's fine.
S: Batman is like a wraith. You don't need to know how he does what he does, he just does.
S: EXCEPT.
S: When he's randomly at the party.
S: Standing in front of like, 1000 people, and nobody sees him show up.
S: If I were there, it'd be like "I don't care what crazy shit I'm already watching, Batman is fucking here now. Anybody else seeing this? No? WHY THE FUCK NOT?!"
M: hahahhah
M: I think the problem is that the suit looks so heavy that I can't buy it ever
M: it's always the problem
S: Yeah
M: I want like a cloth suit
S: I do like the progression of suits in this one.
M: because he looks just so damn bulky
S: "You know, it just occurred to me how big and stupid this suit is. I can't even move my fucking neck. Make me a new one."
M: hahahaha
M: what's weird is how quickly the Joker gives up his entire ethos
M: I appreciated it, because it was fascinating
M: but it was the first time I'd ever seen him focus more on philosophy than rash action
M: cool, to be sure
M: definitely legit in the universe
M: but it makes Batman seem all the more shallow
M: and the fact that we don't get a full transformation into some new creature with Two-Face just changes Dent from an empathetic hero into a really petty sonuvabitch
S: Yeah.
M: by which I mean, his face changes, but he's still Big Harv
S: He's basically already Two-Face before he gets scarred.
S: In that one scene.
M: right! but then that scene is sort of absolved when he reveals that the coin is always heads
M: he was just scaring the guy
M: so in a way, he is Batman
S: Yeah
M: which makes it even lamer
M: like the coin should be OCD
M: not silly
M: it sort of felt silly
S: At least it wasn't like in FOREVER.
M: like we're waiting for him to do it, so we can figure out who the writer wants to survive
S: Where he flips the coin like nine times to get the result he wants so he can shoot Bruce Wayne in the head.
M: hahahah
M: I mean, let's be honest, thank god nothing about two-face was like forever
S: He drinks from two champaign glasses at the SAME TIME!
M: although this movie could have used some Chris O' Donnell, flyin around quipping
S: Because he has TWO FACES!
S: I GET IT!
S: Yeah, the more I think about it, Batman is kind of the biggest plot device of them all in this one. Not even a mention of his parents, which is weird.
M: how about the Joker spilling the wine and drinking the empty glass
M: no wayne manor even
M: Batman is always out of his element
S: The Joker drinking from the empty glass was weird.
S: From what I heard about them filming that, 90% of that is improvised, so it was probably a mistake they ended up liking.
M: hahahah nice
M: I liked it
S: All that was on the page is that he was suppose to come out of the elevator and ask for Harvey. And they were like "GO."
M: because it seemed like he was trying to get a rise out of the audience
M: hahaha
S: And he came up and started slapping around extras and doing weird shit.
M: hahahaha
M: makes sense
M: he was increasingly more unstable from what I'm guessing
S: Yeah
M: I mean, if a role was going to kill him, it was this or Brothers Grimm
M: and really, more the final product than the role in Grimm
S: When we were by their set they had just filmed that scene like a few days prior, and that's all any crew members we talked too would talk about.
S: How crazy he was during that party scene.
S: And how they had to pay anyone he touched extra
S: Because they were all unspeaking extras, which is why they don't really react to him at all.
M: it looks like he is grabbing Maggie Gyllenhall's face pretty hard
S: And obviously, they didn't know he was going to smack them.
M: Yeah, totally
M: but you can tell she's totally into it
S: I *really* liked the choice to spin the camera around at the end to make him appear right side up to the audience's perspective
S: Hahaha
M: and is like, yah, yah, put the knife in my mouth
M: I could tell she was into kinky shit ever since she fucked will ferrell in stranger than fiction
M: if you ride the ferrell, you have to be ready to take a load from anyone
S: i thought you were going to say since SECRETARY
M: no, I find that normal
S: Hahaha
M: alright, I need sleep
M: good talking to you about it
S: Yeah, totally
S: Later dude

Anyone else think the only character to get a raw deal in this picture was Batman? He's supposed to be the World's Greatest Detective, but since Batman is a mask and Bruce Wayne is always mugging it's hard to get a sense of what his "rules" actually are. The Joker seems to know, but unless we're pulling everything from Begins (which seems to be a mistake, based on how much the dialog and depiction of Gotham changed without former screenwriter David Goyer's ham-hands getting in the way) then it's really easy to see Bats as a selfish, rich jerk who occasionally does the right thing and otherwise incurs a shit-ton of property damage. What do you guys think?