Essen Sie mit Herr Hair nicht!

I think this is pretty funny.

Funny enough to come out of blogging retirement anyway.

It's a tale as old as the restaurant industry. Some prick complains to the chef that his meal was improperly prepared, and the chef responds justly and proportionally by sticking some rank-ass shit in the customer's replacement meal. In this case the "foreign objects" are human hair from (hopefully) the chef's head.

To me, this is the essence of caveat emptor. If you're going to be a douchebag, chances are you're going to face your comeuppance sooner or later, and frankly you deserve it. Being pointlessly rude, especially to the wait-staff, is a complete waste of time. Waiters and waitresses do not make the food, and they are frequently the victim of kill-the-messenger style verbal mutilation. If you abuse your waitperson, chances are the anger you sent their way is going to mosey on back to the kitchen with your latest request, and they're either going to take it out on the chef or conspire to screw you over together. Restaurants, no matter how they may be presented at face value, are pretty raucous places when you get backstage. And the people in the industry tend to stick together. So watch yourself.

I'm not saying this to scare you, but I'm warning you that there are common methods for dealing with rude people, and this article, although crass, is a microcosm of most of them. The real problem here is not that the chef tampered with the customer's meal, but that he did it in so obvious and incriminating a way. Hairs are pretty easy to spot in a juicy steak, especially after it hits your lips. Had the chef simply, I don't know, rubbed the steak on his balls or dropped it on the floor a few times, this wouldn't be an issue. You'd be surprised how much 'special seasoning' can really improve a customer's meal. "Is that cilantro?" Yeah, you wish.

I don't think the chef should go to jail. I think he should be given a medal. And I think douchebaggery should be outlawed.