Sunday, August 05, 2007

God Layeth the Smackdown

I don't have sound on my computer at the moment, so if there's anything extra I'm missing from Jake Brown's disastrous skate video, you'll have to let me know.

I'm guessing it sounds something like "YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH---oh. Oh darn."

More importantly, Jake Brown is alive, with only liver and lung damage. Good, I say, because at least he was born with two of both. Seriously though, what does God have against Jake Brown?

It's not like he was skating up the Tower of Babel. Seriously God, what's the deal?

I can't tell if Jake's brains were damaged in the landing, or if he's just a hopeless optimist, but I'd call this one a career-ending injury. Not because of the physical impairment---but because of the undeniable scientligious proof that God wants this man dead. I'm fine with killing skateboarders (God knows the sound of skating on sidewalk could drive any man insane) but taking out your aggression on a measly mortal midway through a stellar trick seems almost vengeful. What is this? The Old Testament?

I guess I shouldn't rag on God about this one. It could be Jake's fault. He did bail, and for all I know, it was at that exact moment during his trick that he remembered his kiddie porn empire. God can't be blamed for that.

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