Malibu Vice

Hear the good news? It seems Mel Gibson's grown tired of any ambiguity regarding his sanity and decided to go completely ape-shit. As if being arrested for a DUI isn't cool enough, he goes on to be both racist and sexist! Looks like Hollywood's "Passion"-ate "Braveheart" is headed "Beyond BLUNDERdome!" I don't want to start a "Conspiracy Theory," but I bet his career will be held for "Ransom" until this "Maverick" "Road Warrior" shows "Signs" of improvement! He's no "Patriot", and gauging by his remarks to that female officer, he certainly doesn't know "What Women Want!" Here's one "Man Without a Face" who should head back to "Galipoli" before he gets "Payback" for being such a "Lethal Weapon!" In fact, he might as well "Chicken Run" over to "Hamlet" so he can stay "Forever Young" while "We Were Soldiers," if you catch my pun!!!

Speaking of apes, Colin Farrell's in a new movie based on an old TV show, Miami Vice. Michael Mann's in charge, which makes sense since he had his hand in the buttery goodness of the old small-screen affair. Basically, the flick's a paint-by-numbers cop action/drama when it comes to storytelling (not that anyone should be expecting otherwise), but its visuals make it more memorable than the rest of the pack. Unfortunately, this movie doesn't tackle anything that wasn't done better or more eloquently in Collateral, and unless you're a diehard Mannboy there isn't much to peak interest. There's a neat moment when a guy's arm is torn to shreds by bullets, but let's face it, I could see that on any drive through Miami.

What's the status on KYLE AND VLAD????

Find out soon.