Firstly, I think you should notice that there's a new section on twinshore, one with the absurd moniker "Fan Art." The first question that should be running through your heads is "How could it be possible that Kyle and Vlad are so popular that they've inspired people to create beautiful (albeit inferior) works of their own?" Well, I don't fucking know. I honestly don't think this has anything to do with me. I think Kyle and Vlad have far-reaching grasps that transcend beyond mere web-pagery. It's almost like they're real people.
Regardless of why, we have a piece of Fan Art on the site now, thanks to our dear friend Muindi Muindi. You might recall Muindi as the cat who wrote the interview of Kyle and Vlad that's also on the main site, which means that there is not one, but TWO different tributes to Muindi in relation to Kyle and Vlad. Two different Muindis for the price of one, although Muindi himself has one name for the price of two. I'd say you're getting ripped off either way, but it's my site, and I eventually want you to buy merchandise.
Secondly, this happened:
"A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners, and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos. Human life is a gift from our Creator -- and that gift should never be discarded, devalued or put up for sale."
Now don't get my intentions wrong here. I'm not going to make a "Bush is stupid" joke. I understand that in order for this to be in the State of the Union, it's been through numerous speechwriters, cross-checked by the aides, and proofread more times than a letter to Jesus. What I'm asking here is this:
WHEN DID THIS EVEN GET ON THE FUCKING MAP?
Human-Animal Hybrids?
Are you serious?
Is this possible?
And finally---
Sign me up.
You know, with all the shit we've got going on here and abroad, you'd think that Bush could focus on THIS:
And a little less on THIS:
Seriously. What the hell is he talking about?
This guy?:
Who fucking cares? That's not a human-animal hybrid, baby. That's just a crazy-rich fag who never grew out of Lisa Frank folders.
Even if human-animal hybrids do exist, what the hell does Bush have against them? I'm pretty sure the Bible-thumpers don't have much beef with Catman. He keeps the mice from nibbling on all their precious true-cross wood. And he's fun to groom!!!
Can't Bush take a step back and look at all the good human-animal hybrids we've seen over the years? Let's hope so.
1. Wolverine
For a guy who loves killing babies so much, you'd think Bush'd show a little appreciation for a man made of goddamn knives. The closest I ever came to coming up with a hero as badass as Wolverine was when I invented Ultra-Reginald, a British Gentleman who owned nothing that wasn't made out of swords. Even his sword broke in half to reveal smaller, more-golden swords. He had swords that came out of his hat like Kung Lao, only they even came out of the inside, so when he put his hat on, he died. This is where Wolverine had him one better, because Wolverine can fucking heal himself. That's his mutant power; the claws are just gold star bonus points. Plus, Jesus, Bush wishes he could pull off hair like that. Check the chops, BITCH!
2. Reptile/Lizardman
When it comes to eating people's faces, these guys were like second on the list, and only because I am mad crazy sexy when I am drunk. Reptile could spit acid on a girl's face if she wouldn't give him her phone number (eat it now, Kitana), and Lizardman had a sword, which I guess is his compensation for not having external genitalia.
3. Barf
Look at this sweet motherfucker. I used to wonder what Jesus would look like if John Candy ate him and had sex with a cocker-spaniel, but Spaceballs answered that question long before I became sweet enough to ask.
If Bush has a problem with Mogs (or Moogles) then he can suck a fat one. Specifically Barf's, because let's face it. This guy's not getting much action, even from that yellow robot chick.
4. Batman
Now I know what you're thinking:
Why is Batman so fucking awesome all the time?!!!
Even if Batman isn't a real hybrid, he still has twice the costumed nipples that Spider-Man ever will. Organic web shooters? Batman finds stickier shit with a quick Q-tip run before Robin's bath. Besides, Batman can make real guano. That's hybridlicious.
5. Catdog
Okay, so this is more of an animal-animal hybrid, but let's face it, this is one step closer to Tonkey, half-turtle, half-donkey. The world's slowest horse! Also, there was that one episode where Cat passed a kidney stone out of dog's eye socket.
I hope our President learned a lesson from all this. I think it has something to do with Bloody Roar.
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