Lions, Witches, Apes, Nazis

Here's a quick seasonal film recap:

-- Lion, Witch, Closet : Not too kiddie, not too Christiany = just right in my book. I was entertained, even though Jesus turned out to be a Lion in the twist ending. This flick had some of the tightest, most efficient film editing I've seen in a long time. Not like that bastardized, anti-transition editing going on in Harry Potter 4. Overall, I'd still say that was a more entertaining movie, but probably a worse "film." Sticks and nitpicks though. This is safe and tolerable fair.

-- King Long : Despite the retardedness of the movie's opening four hours, it really picks up as soon as they hit the island. I probably could have told you that by reading other reviews without having even seen the movie, but it's worth a mention. Similar to the Narn-Yarn, this flick has some gonzo special effects. Really choice CGI. Makes me proud to witness the fine tuning of such keen digital imagery. Storywise? At its best, it's Kong as we've all heard it and loved it before. At it's worst, it can get bogged down in meaningless characterization and non-ape related material. Although I appreciate the efforts put forth in making all the characters interesting, the star of the show is Andy Serkis mo-capping monkeys, and anyone who isn't a monkey, filming a monkey, or sitting in a monkey's paw can really take a backseat as far as I'm concerned. This movie made me like Adrian Brody (having only seen him in Shamaladingdong's The Village), as he was the one newly characterized summabitch that I appreciated. Jack Black's character was a mixed bag, not really as a result of his acting---more just because the script tries to make the douchebag overly empathetic. His last words ring hollow, only because they come from his mouth, the talkhole of the guy who started all this monkey business to begin with. Every moment with Naomi Watts and Kong is pretty much fantastic, and like many of Jackson's recent efforts, given another swipe at the editing board this baby could have been a masterpiece. In any case, it's probably the best thing out right now in your maaaaiiinstream cinemas.

-- American History X -- I just saw this the other day for the first time. I liked it until Ed Norton pussed out and stopped making people eat curb. Fucking minorities....trying to take away our jobs at swastika-emblazin' tattoo shops! Why I orta----!!!!!

That's the end of this movie round-up. Time for some more family poker, hopefully with less bloodshed.