And I Get Lonely (But I Ain't That Lonely Yet)

Fuck, I've been obsessed with the White Stripes lately. They're that group where the guy has sex with his sister on a giant peppermint candy in the nineteen seventies. You might remember their big hit song on the radio from a few years back with the lead guitar part that was written on the back of that mobius strip.

I like how I'm incapable of even describing things I like without inadvertantly hating them.

Anyway, they are awesome. This isn't me telling you that you should go listen to them in a condescending, Zach Braffian way. This is me telling you that I still have good taste in music, even when I hop on the bandwagon late for something.

Sarah once told me I had the taste in music of a sophomore boy in high school.

Well, here's what I say to that:

GONNA CALL MY FRIENDS AND GET 'EM ALL TOGETHER WE WERE GONNA GO AND START A BAND
BUT EVERYTHING I WANNA DO'S ALREADY BEEN DONE
WHY WOULD I WANNA GO AND DO IT AGAIN
EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY
EVERYBODY
PLAYS GUITAR

That means you, Sten.

(I can say anything I want about Sten here, because he doesn't read it. I think he doesn't know how. He has a secret journal where he writes all his thoughts, and sometimes I look over his shoulder and pretend to read it when he's writing, and then he gets self-conscious, glances backwards and shuts it. What's inside? My guess: Recipes. JEW-HATING RECIPES.)

I'd be kind of disappointed if Sten became a neo-nazi. I mean, it'd be great that he finally committed to something and everything, but I feel like it'd give our room a bad wrap. And people already look at me funny for that one time I poured blood on that baby. Give me a break, people. Sometimes you misread a look. Sometimes you stare into a baby's soul and think he's crying, "Baptise me! Baptise me unto the Dark Lord!"

But no.

There are just some thing's that right-wing America won't let you pour on a baby. Thanks a lot, Condi Rice.

I guess my point is, I can have bad taste in music as long as Sarah still has bad taste in movies.

But Sarah Silverman's Jesus is Magic is pretty great. You should see that, but you aren't able to, so don't bother trying.